Don't give up!

Holly (although we've never met in person) has been an amazing inspiration to me throughout my weight loss journey (even before the surgery). I read every blog she writes. Her blog today (onederland) has a video at the end of  it that I think so many of us in life right need to see right now as we struggle through our battles. I love it and wanted to share.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=wtSKzHxVqxQ#!


Holly's blog "300lbs down is located at http://www.300poundsdown.com/   I would highly recommend subscribing by email in the top right corner.

15 THINGS YOU SHOULD GIVE UP TO BE HAPPY

15 THINGS YOU SHOULD GIVE UP TO BE HAPPY

1. Give up your need to always be right

There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame

Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, many things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy; no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change

Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels

Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn't exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

 13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

 

14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn't mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying; a state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Failures

****I'm giving a warning in advance. This post is not a all is good and happy post so you should probably skip over it. My blog is supposed to be able the ups and downs and this is def a down.****

For most, there is always a failure here or a failure there in their life. For others yet, there are more than just an occasional failure. Then there are people who have days that they feel they are a complete failure at everything they do and that they should just stop fighting the fight to not be a failure.

Today, I feel like one of those people. Today, all I've done is cry. All I've done is feel like I'm a complete waste of flesh in all parts of my life. I feel like a horrible mother, a horrible wife, and a horrible friend.  Just a horrible person to even be around. I feel like a complete failure who needs to just crawl away with my head hanging low and let everyone around me be happier in life.

Today is one of those days where I look at what I am told and how I feel, and wonder how I can ever overcome the failures and flaws I have. I try. Man, I try so hard to take feedback and work on it and try to be a better person that would make for a happier life.  I feel like a failure because even though I am trying, it isn't visible to others. It makes me feel like that others have gotten so used to me being that person that makes them unhappy that no matter how much I try to fix my issues, it won't get seen. The failure will still be there. I'll still be that person. Now, I know that I have some great qualities and that I'm not really such a horrible person. That there are things that people love about me. I get that. There are also things that people hate about me and those qualities affect views of the good qualities.

I know life is full of struggles and things don't work out the way you want them to and that they say all you can do is give it your best.  What happens when that best isn't seen?  When it comes to losing weight, it has been visible for me (for others, I know it isn't always the same and that it's a lot slower). It has been 7 months of pure struggle and fighting to lose the weight that I have lost. People can see that. They know I am working on it. There are certainly things I could be doing to better up my best right now in the physical body realm of life but I know I am working on it and that is good. When it comes to changes that aren't visible like weight loss, it's a whole different playing field. Saying I'm working on it isn't that black and white. Even more so, sometimes even all the changes in the world might never be visible because of the lens that is looked through.....try and try and try and it still seems like everything being worked on has been a failure.

Though I feel like a complete failure, I know that I won't give it. It's not who I am. I struggle and struggle and I push through with the optimistic thoughts that change will eventually be seen and understood and accepted. I will continue to work on the changes and redefine my flaws. I just really wish there was a ticker like the one on the side of my blog that showed my progress on other changes so that the world could see it and I wouldn't have to feel like a complete failure. That would be just swell.

And if you are still reading, (which means you didn't listen to my warning at the top) the days that you feel your worse can give you hope for days that you will feel better. Don't give up hope. Know that it's really only failure if you stop trying to succeed. Sometimes our struggles in life take us backwards for a bit but get back on the path and move forward again and again and again and you'll succeed. It really helps if you have supportive people who love and push you, which, I KNOW we all do. There are supportive people in each of our lives. Hang on to their support and positiveness. It will move you forward again if you take a step back. Other things that help are big tight loving hugs and words of encouragement and just knowing that you're loved.

P.S.  I love you! (((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))  You can do this!

This is so true!

I've had to learn and relearn this over the years! I think that there is so much truth in this though.