Once upon a time, in a far away land..........There was this woman who thought breaking out of the armor was healthy. What became of her, you ask?
I wanted to live life without the armor that I had wore for so long. I wanted to be more open and less guarded and closed off to people so that healthy relationships grew and I became more at east with pain. After all, that's how we're supposed to live right? I desperately wanted to know that all of that pain was gone and I truly did not even need armor at all. I could be like you or you or even you.
The problem is that some of us need armor. Some of us know that having armor is better than feeling..... Feeling the pain... the distance and the waves of emotions that come so fast we can't catch our breath. We've lived life with so much pain that when we built our armor, it was our safe place. It allowed us to live in this world and be normal.
Without the armor that we've built, nothing seems safe. There's pain everywhere; relationships, our children, the closest to us that leave us, in every breath we take..... There's pain and PAIN SUCKS. People hurt people. That's what they do. It's not usually intentional, although sometimes it is. Other times, it's so far deep that one doesn't realize that they're doing it or why but regardless there is always pain.
Pain sucks. Pain sucks. Pain sucks.
So it seems most easiest to keep the armor up permanently or or in my case, rebuild the armor and live life knowing that it's okay to have the armor because it hurts less when people you love and need in your life leave you or hurt you. If you have a defense system it will buffer the pain. Nothing, including the strongest, sturdiest armor blocks all of the pain. But having some armor makes it a little more bearable at least. Having some wall of defense that you can hide behind and feel a little more safe is something everyone needs. Why? Remember, they almost always hurt you in some way or another, as is life. As is love.
And that is what became....
