I am feeling so ecstatic! I made my 2012 goal to be below 250 by the end of the year. I wasn't sure I could do it. I mean that's over 90 lbs since May 16th. But I DID it! WOW. Even with two back surgeries and not being as active as I need to be because of the surgeries, I still made my goal. I am like a giddy school girl.
I haven't been below 200 lbs since I was 18 or 19. I haven't been below 150 lbs since I was 17-18. You have the understand that this as thin as I have been since I was in high school almost 20 years ago. I have spent 20 years heavy. I spent 20 years telling myself that I would always be heavy and that was just who I was and that I was fine with that.
I was truly blessed to have the option to have the WLS and have it covered by my insurance because of my medical issues. I thank God every day that I had that option. I tried over and over again to lose weight before the surgery. I watch other struggle with their weight and wish I could give them the opportunity that I was blessed with. By all means, it is not an easier route for weight loss. It is EXTREMELY hard. The hardest way I have ever ever tried. But it works when you use the surgery as a tool and use it the right way.
Lord knows, I struggle with telling people I had the surgery. I just posted my accomplishment to Facebook a few minutes ago and Facebook friends are asking how I did it. I admit, I am having a panic attack right now about it. Do I tell them the truth. That I severely limited my food intake and calories, cut out soda, caffeine, alcohol, sugar, processes foods, and pretty much anything that wasn't loaded with protein. That I take over 15 pills a day to make sure I'm not malnourished. That I gave up food I really enjoy and replaced it with protein in forms of meat, dairy and limited veggies along with protein shakes that aren't exactly absolutely nummy.... That just within the last 2 months was I finally able to add some of this stuff back in severe moderation.... All of this is absolutely true. This has been my life since WLS.
Or do I tell them the whole truth.. That I had a RNY Gastric Bypass that forced me to "severely limit my food intake and calories, cut out soda, caffeine, alcohol, sugar, processes foods, and pretty much anything that wasn't loaded with protein. That I take over 15 pills a day to make sure I'm not malnourished. That I gave up food I really enjoy and replaced it with protein in forms of meat, dairy and limited veggies along with protein shakes that aren't exactly absolutely nummy.... That just within the last 2 months was I finally able to add some of this stuff back in severe moderation...." How do I answer this question. It's been 7 months and I am still afraid to tell people. I'm still feel like I have to hide. I think I really need to work on the why I need to hide part of that. I should be proud! I should be an advocate for WLS. It does work when you work with the tool given to you.
People look at you at sheer awe when you tell them you've lost 91 lbs and you tell them what you done to do that. Once you throw in that you had the gastric bypass, you can often see a look come over their face (not always). That look says so you took the easy way out. You had to have a surgery to lose the weight. You didn't do it on your own. That look knocks so much of that accomplishment feeling away. It's deflating.
I have been extremely blessed to have an amazing support system of loved ones who have supported me along this journey. I thank each and every one of you for helping me keep my spirits high and my motivation strong. I thank you for believing in me. I thank you for understanding that although the weight is coming off, that I am really still me and that won't ever change. I could not have taken this journey without all of you by my side. You support me and keep me inflated with someone comes along and deflates me. THANK YOU! I love each and every one of you!
Now back to ponder how to answer the questions.
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